Can We F*ck Up with Grace??
Happy Canada Day and Happy July
How do we find Grace in these times? By allowing the Grace filled moments.
It doesn't really feel like July for me. Usually I am packed today ready for my many summer adventures. Instead, like all of you, I have a feeling of Groundhog day...again and again. I will say that my family and I are making the best of it and I am grateful for online technology that has allowed me to transition all of my work to a virtual platform and remain connected to my clients and students. I am excited for the summer and pray that I can do a bit of travel to visit my family in Montreal and a few friends.... time will tell.
As I reflect on June, it's been an exciting and a grief filled month. For those that don't know, I loss my father, unexpectedly, a few weeks ago, suspected Covid but not confirmed. He was in Montreal so we were not able to gather to celebrate his life. Instead, we planned a virtual online gathering and it was perfect. We did it on ,what would have been, his 80th birthday. We had a chance to share sweet memories and share in our grief. We celebrated and expressed gratitude that he did not suffer and lived a full life. Although I still feel moments of grief, I am mostly in awe of life and how unexpected it can become.
As this was happening, many of you also know that my first publication, in the Ignite Female Change Makers compilation book, went international best seller in 9 countries overnight, the Ignite Team invited me to join them as a team member in their Ignite Possibilities 50 week program (to ignite dreams EVERYWHERE) and I have undergone a rebranding in my business with increased clarity with my Realign To Thrive™ program (you can check out my new beautiful website at dianalockett.com thanks to Ian Coll at IanCollMedia.com for the photos). I have also been in production mode ready to re-launch my Realign To Thrive™ program (my house has been transformed into a video recording studio) and launch a brand new business in a few weeks with my daughter, Julia. And it has been soooooo fun.
Throughout June, I also was very impacted by the horrifying news around BLACK LIVES MATTER... WTF have we been doing for the last few centuries..the answer: creating duality, tension and racism. And none of this is new news… it was just a big elephant in the room that none of us wanted to acknowledge. There is nothing graceful in how we have messed up. This has been an incredible unconscious wrong in the world. Listen, we are ALL responsible and we all have to show up to do the work. I won't say more than that because 1. I don't feel qualified and 2. there are others who can lead this conversation with more clarity and with greater understanding. I will say that my YTTs moving forward will include a conversation on the privilege of Yoga in the Western world and the need to engage in meaningful conversations around the critical examination of how the dynamics of social differences influence (in)equitable access to health and wellness and the responsibility that we all have to eradicate the structures of oppression in the world. I have been in deep dialogue with many more qualified than me to learn what I can do to help move the world into a place of true equality. What I have been sharing is... DO YOUR WORK to release your own judgements and inherent prejudices, and if you think you have none, work harder. My prayer is that we don't continue to mess up so unconsciously that we need to have this conversation in 20 years. We need to bring grace into this conversation. And we need to create inspired, Grace filled, action.
Needless to say... my emotions have been running wild in many different directions. I feel so grateful that I have my practices to ground me, to allow me to feel all the big feels and be OK with them as I tune into my nervous system and my heart to inform me what I need in any moment. This is not easy work. It means that I chose to move towards the pain and give it space so that I can notice when/if I am putting up defences to avoid my pain and tenderly confront these defence mechanisms before they become the "boss of me" and show up in sneaky and less than ideal ways. You see, if we are not aware of our judgments, our prejudices, our unconscious ego, our anger, our grief etc., we risk becoming closed and contracted and act from those places. And we keep them in the dark and begin to create defensive strategies to hide them. These can be anything from numbing, judging, blaming, armouring the heart, and other strategies that keep us shut down. The deep work that I've been doing primarily for the last 4 years is to work towards disarmouring my heart, my nervous system and my mind and to take radical responsibility for my life, for my dreams, for my joys and for where I’ve contributed to hurts in the world. The results: I now notice when my defences start to creep up (overworking, putting on a "fine" face etc) and catch myself. When we bring light onto the darkness, we can recognize when the messes come from a place of closedness, rather than my from a place of grace and openness. That is when we can begin to make change. This is the Conscious Unconscious phase (beginning to see behaviors as they are after they have happened rather than not seeing them at all).
My longing is that, as I mature in my spiritual practice and awaken to my truth and to that of all beings, I will learn to f*ck up with more grace and see more WE than ME. What that means is that when I mess up (because I am perfectly imperfect) it will come with less harm, more conscious awareness and a quicker access to remembering my truth and that of others... we are all doing the best we can. And, when we become conscious of our dark places, we step up, we take responsibility and we recognize that we need to look long and hard at our conditioning, our habits, our mindset, at how we close up (to our pain and to each other) and how we can course correct in our lives and in the world. F*cking up gracefully means recognizing the mess and willing to clean it up. Whether it is yelling at your kids, having an argument with your beloved, forgetting to pay a bill, messing up at work or sabotaging yourself. With so much love and tenderness….wake up and be willing to fix it.
Here are the personal practices that I have been stepping up even more lately to be able to welcome a sense of grace into my messiness because as I continue to be human it is critical that I recognize that I always have a choice to become more responsive rather than reactive in my life:
1) Daily meditations: several times a day and especially first thing in the morning when my nervous system is the most relaxed and responsive to meditation. Sometimes I do hypnotic meditations that take me into a deep trance. Other times I sit in stillness and allow myself to become open to the experience with grace. Only when my nervous system is relaxed can I get very clearn make inspired decisions that will make a difference. AND... I respectfully invite us all to feel our anger, channeled through our hearts, to ignite a passion to unify to make a difference in the world. Peace and unity does not come from prayer (although that is important as well)...it comes from action. And although not every moment can be graceful, EVERY moment can be Grace Filled when the heart become the channel for inspiration.
2) Daily learning: I believe that we are here to grow and leave a legacy. Although I love practicing presence and stillness, I have a very strong commitment to personal development and growth every day. That is critical to my showing up as a leader and a coach in my community and in the world. My learning lately: How white supremacy and black racism show up systemically, how to eradicate oppression and deep conversations and reflection on my own unconscious, generational, behaviors and beliefs.
3) Walks in Nature: I now take 2-3 walks daily in nature - this feeds my soul and reminds me to breathe.
4) Daily movement: yoga, functional fitness workouts, running, tennis, biking, etc. We have one vessel as a gift from the Universe. We are the Universe embodied and I feel a responsibility to care for my body so that I can remain healthy, vibrant and a powerful vehicle for change.
5) PLAY: because... well... we really are here for the delight of it even when the world seems upside down. Stay connected to your childlike wonder to bring infinite possibilities into the world. Remain curious to your potential and the potential of the world.
6) Rest: I make my rest a priority, sleep 7-8 hours and I am learning to rest during the day if I feel I need to welcome a break. Often I will sit in my "egg" chair outside and allow my mind to still and swing myself to a state of relaxation. Rest is needed to refuel the body, mind and soul. To give me energy to be able to hold this difficult pose that we are all finding ourselves in lately.
I know this all sounds like a full time job.... and it is... and I believe that we need to make our health and wellness and our consciousness a priority. I cannot serve if my vessel is empty... and I know I am here to serve.
The other thing that I do daily is work on my business. Some days it's a few posts, other days I am in full creative or production mode. This is becoming play for me and I can't wait to see what comes of the Ignite Possibilities program that I have been welcomed to join. I will share more about that next month but here are my 3 dreams that the Ignite team asked me to clearly define:
1. Finish and publish my solo book
2. Speak on a Mindvalley stage (I say this humbly and with insecurity)
3. Meet Oprah and be on her book club. (also humbly and with insecurity)
A few months ago these dreams would have seemed far... really far. Today, they are very real and the gap between these dreams and today appears to be closing. I was guided by an old friend to "jump"... jump into life. So I am making the choice to notice when I am held back from fear... and I am jumping...and will fill you in as life unfolds. I trust in divine guidance and am allowing so much to come to me rather than chase it. I hope you can lean into your divine guidance and find the practices that allow you to soften to life and respond to the calls of the Universe with grace.
Here are a few updates on my business:
1. My NEW Hybrid YTT is beginning in Sept. I have enjoyed transiting my YTT to an online platform and am thrilled with the outcomes....deep heart connections....meaningful learning....and excellent teachers. All the details are on my website.
2. As I mentioned above...I am launching a new business with Julia for Yoga Teachers Only..... I will send details on launch day.... It's super exciting.
3. My Yoga classes remain on Youtube and are FREE. I am (slowly) adding meditation and will begin to add coaching content to my youtube channel (https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC5WF3Krv1PQWn324zbaqjSA?view_as=subscriber). With over 60 classes now, I am beginning to slow down production of the classes and will be taking a bit of a break for the summer. You can expect approximately 2 new classes weekly and pop up live classes throughout the summer.
4. My Re-Align to Thrive™ Fundamentals: Health and Wellness program will be re-launching soon. I will share details in another email.
5. Please consider following our 50 week journey of Ignite Possibilities with JB Owens and a dozen international women as we come together to not only make our dreams come true but YOUR dreams as well. You can follow us here and please play big along with us. Post your dreams, comment, share, find your way into community with this incredible Kula (community of the heart). https://www.facebook.com/ignitepossibiliities/?__tn__=%2CdkC-R-R&eid=ARCgZVtwZvJ8myU7BP5uRTJil8pRk9uT-j3jDgZQLB7vRXu4V0loi3Py5Op0p_5BZFyJn1EH5TnToH13&hc_ref=ARTK1Rl7KbNULBh7pBMPQpHUGjFwun26Zs4FMJ2fz3rKqJlyBqP_LJhdoljkDAbqs0I&fref=gs&dti=1897744090524903&hc_location=group_dialog
6. I am creating space in my coaching practice for 2 new clients this summer. I am using my exclusive Realign To Thrive™ methodology in my coaching now to help you to relax your nervous system through practices that will invoke embodied consciousness to awaken you to inspired action in your life. Please connect with me for a free 20 minute discovery call to see if this is a good match for your needs. I am also interested in running a Realign To Thrive ™ coaching GROUP for young adults moving through life transitions. I'm looking for 6-8 young adults who will benefit from learning tools and strategies to find their way to navigating challenge and change with grace and ease. If you know someone in that phase (e.g., off to University, job transitions, moving away etc), please send them my contact.
And now... a big exhale... that seems like a lot... and it is.... and I am navigating these days mostly with ease and grace, and a bit of messiness as I am perfectly imperfect... just like you. I hope that you can be gentle with yourself when you mess up and, just like me, and give yourself permission to f***ck up gracefully.
Wishing you all health, clarity, love and ease
Diana
xoxoxoxox